WHERE DID WE GET THIS PINOT GRIGIO? IT’S WONDERFUL.
HONESTLY, I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THE BAND PLAYS AS LONG AS WE’VE GOT A COUPLE MORE BOTTLES OF THIS STUFF.
your punishment must be more severe
Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.
Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.
Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?
Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.
Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.
Mike: “why do I always look so Asian in photos?” Me: ” well… I ALWAYS look Asian in photos.” (Taken with Instagram)
Lol @ old facebook photos.
On a tropical island…
This mother fucker.